A MOMENT OF SILENCE!
Sir Keith Jackson (1928 – 2018)
If you just asked the question: “Who’s Keith Jackson?” — please get off our website.
Is there any one announcer associated with any one sport more closely related to college football to Keith Jackson? The answer is No. And you might think the late, great Keith Jackson just “dabbled” in pro football or maybe even ABC’s “The Superstars” back in the 70s — (but who didn’t, right?! We needed the money.)
NO! Not only was Keith Jackson the voice of 16 Sugar Bowls and 15 Rose Bowls. He was also the first-ever play-by-play voice of Monday Night Football, did NBA hoops alongside Bill Russell, called Major League Baseball in the late-70s, early-80s, college hoops alongside Dick Vitale from 87-92, the Olympics (including swimming in 1972 Munich games), and of course, ABC’s Wide, Wide World of Sports.
Keith Jackson was known for a trademark call — “WHOA, NELLY!!!” — but there was so much more to the married father of three than that.
So in honor of the voice that made college football what it is, please close your cakeholes and remove your hats and and/or hairpieces to observe this Clevelandville Moment of Silence™. …
Thank you.
AN OPEN LETTER
Give Us the Dog, Dan
Dear Dan Sevic,
How much is enough? How much is too much?
Isn’t enough that you’re a successful director for Fox Sports Ohio – traipsing around the country with the greatest athlete in the world – staying in five-star hotels? Or that you drive an Audi™? Or how about that this past summer, you and your wife won $34 million in free windows through the Windows Direct/Cleveland Indians promotion?
Must you also monopolize (and, more so, monetize) your incredibly hilarious looking beagle – Dexter McGoogles – peddling his charm and charisma to a certain local greeting card conglomerate?!
Everyone knows that a bold, new campaign is nothing without a great mascot and/or spokes-animal leading the way. Joe Camel, the GEICO gecko, Spuds McKenzie. In no uncertain terms, we want Dexter McGoogles to be our spokes-beagle.
If you don’t want the tale of DMcG to end like it did for those animals, who sold out for the big, easy paycheck – (crazy concept, right Dan?) – let’s consider the story of Cheeseface – the name of the legendary dog from the controversial 1973 National Lampoon magazine cover …
Three years after posing for that infamous cover, Cheeseface was tracked down on the farm he was living on and brutally assassinated.
We don’t want to see that same thing happen to Dexter McGoogles, Dan. We won’t put a firearm to his head or threaten him with violence in any way. Not a beautiful animal like that.
Clevelandville doesn’t want A dog. We want THIS dog.
Please don’t make this difficult, Dan. Give him to us.
Very sincerely,
The Clevelandville Editorial Staff
miscellany
The top 5 highest grossing WWI movies of All-Time
Random Numerals
The formula for January 15 — aka “Blue Monday” — the most depressing day of the year
where W=weather, D=debt, d=monthly salary, T=time since Christmas, Q=time since failing our new year’s resolutions, M=low motivational levels, and Na=the feeling of a need to take action
FOOD
Great Lakes Christmas Sail
There has long been a certain fascinating mystique surrounding the notion of a solitary Christmas somewheres – a lighthouse, a forestry service fire tower, a rural AM radio station, the caboose of a 20th century limited smoking through the midnight clear – where a small choir of angels, convened through chance or circumstance, light a candle, exchange a gesture, and toast a nog to peace on earth however distant is their hearths and homes.
Such came to mind recently while watching a ship slip over the horizon two weeks back, following its own north star on a cold, lonesome lake. Where might they be going? Where will they find their yule port? Where might their midnight choir sing? How would Santa find them?
CHRISTMASTIME QUIZ!
HEY, IT’S NOT CHRISTMASTIME YET!
Yes, we know. But it’s never too early to get your medulla oblongata sharpened up for the holidays.
Santa frowns heavily on cheaters, so please keep your eyes on your own quiz.
Good luck!
Quickie
336
SUNDAY MORNING!
READER MAIL
Dear Clevelandville ….
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JACK Z. | SOLON, OH
Dear Jack ….
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GRIPEVINE
CALL OF THE WEEK: HERE’S SOMEONE WHO PROBABLY WON’T VOTE TRUMP IN 2020 …
(IMPORTANT: All calls made to the Gripevine become property of Clevelandville.com and can be used on the site.)
1-888-758-2200
CALL THE GRIPEVINE AND
AIR IT OUT.
The Cable Cutter
By Matt Weiland
Have Gun Will Travel. The Rifleman. My Three Sons. Leave It To Beaver. A lot of lessons to be learned and lives enriched this week on the broadcast TV.
A lot to learn from The Rebel as well — though it’s only on once a week, Sunday afternoon, so you really need to be prepared to watch and learn.
MORE …
Quickie
Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Uhura
Works
ARTIST OF THE MONTH: Tony Van Rooy
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MORE ….
Book Report
4 Reasons to Read (or Re-Read) “Blood Meridian”
One of the most unforgettable characters in literary history — The Judge: a hairless, seven-foot tall man who’s often naked, can time-travel, might be a god but is more likely Satan.
They’ve tried to adapt it into a movie for the past 20 years and can’t. You’ll know why when you read it.
Cormac McCarthy at his best, carving out a frequently horrifying Western landscape with a poet’s touch.
An ending that has been pondered and debated since the time it was published.
Titus Jackman
Things I Don’t, Won’t and Can’t Understand
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FILM
Wincing Though Some Politically Uncorrect 80s Comedies
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Quickie
Jim Carrey
Out and About
Send us your least (or most) embarrassing photos and get in the Clevelandville Gallery …
POP QUIZ!
SO YOU THINK YOU’RE SMART, HUH?!
Well, here’s your chance to prove it.
Sharpen your No. 2 pencils, face forward and show that you can handle things and you want respect.
Quickie
336
The Great Indoors
Some Birthday
On my birthday last Monday the sales manager hit me in the eye with a rubber band. That was the extent of the fuss made over me in the office on this most special of days. As I rubbed my eye the manager exclaimed, “Wow! I’ve never been able to do that before!”
“Next time put a bent paper clip in there,” I cried. “You might be able to puncture the eyeball.” He still stood there, looking like he’d just hit a three-pointer, my sarcasm lost on him.
Not that I expected any special treatment on my birthday. In fact, I insisted that nothing be made of it. And believe me, nothing was.
I got two “Happy Birthday”s, one solicited. The said “Happy Birthday” as if wild horses were pulling it out of himi. It was a little strangled thing that barely made it through the air to my ears. Of course, being gracious, I bowed and murmured “Thank you,” hiding the pain.
MORE …
